If you have read my review for Key Lime Die, then you know this post is about what not to do when writing a book. This is just my opinion, not a testament to good writing. The book was filled with an immense amount of telling instead of showing.
But what irked me the most was how the characters were mentioned. In order to avoid using the protagonists’ names all the time the author used terms like "independent young woman,” “her practical daughter,” “the flabbergasted owner,” “her uber-responsible daughter,” “the beleaguered pie shop owner,” “the ill-mannered teen,” “the weary shop owner,” “the irate woman,” “the beyond-tired woman,” “the young woman,” “her well-intentioned offspring.” And the book was really short, so these substitutes were on every page.
This wasn't just amateurish, this was irritating. It would be much better to use the names of the characters instead of searching for all types of substitutes. And the author wouldn’t have to worry about mentioning the characters’ names too often if she avoided using “he said, she said” all the time.
- See more at: http://authorswritinginasecondlanguage.com/?id=25