Total Eclipse of the Heart Literal Video Version

OMG, this is hilarious. Had to share.

Total Eclipse of the Heart is one of my most favorite songs, and this literal video version is absolutely hilarious. I laughed so hard I woke up the whole neighborhood :))

There are lots of videos of this type on YouTube, and many of them are really funny (MJ's Billie Jean is good, too). But TEOTH is probably the best. The line "It started up like Hogwarts, now it's Lord of the Flies" had me rolling on the floor!

I hate you, withholding tax!

In my previous post I spoke about giving advice to the newbie authors who are considering self-publishing and who, like me, live outside the USA.

I was just checking my royalties, and guess what my first advice will be about? Yes, royalties!

Are you ready for the big and scary Withholding Tax? Because if your country does not have that special, magical treaty with the States, you will have to pay 30% (yes, thirty!) of your hard earned royalties.

Now, how nice is that? While the royalties are as tiny as $4 or $15, you don't pay that much attention to that 30%. But what if you have to pay $800?

Someone will say that it's still not bad, you're at least receiving something, but that's not comforting at all. Because it's not 5%, not even 15%. It's freaking 30%!!!

So what can we do about this? A fellow author claims that the money can be returned if you fill out a certain form, but another one claims that's impossible. You can read the discussion here and decide for yourselves: Tax withholding Problem - Non US Publisher.

More on this can be found here:

Taxation of Nonresident Aliens

Claiming Tax Treaty Benefits

My opinion is that those authors whose countries have not signed the treaty, will have to pay. Oh, how I wish I was wrong.

You should find the list of countries HERE. Search for the name of your country. If it's not there, then you'll have to pay the withholding tax.

But wait, I think I started from the middle. This is not all. You also pay to Amazon 30% (or 65%). And I think I should start from the beginning.

How much you might earn with Amazon

When you publish with Amazon, you pay them too. To be honest, I don't mind at all (and you shouldn't mind, too). Amazon is making our dreams come true, it's fine to pay them their share.

If you price your book at least $2.99 (this is considered the golden price for a 50-70.000 word  self-published first book), then you will receive 70% royalties from Amazon (minus delivery costs): $2.04.

If you price your book $0.99 (you can't price lower with Amazon), then you will receive 35% royalties (no delivery costs): $0.35.

And then you will pay the withholding tax from the $2.04 or $0.35. Or rather, Amazon will deduct the tax and send you the remains.
But what remains? Not much, unless you sell thousands and thousands of books.

Still want to try self-publishing with Amazon? Alright then, next time I will tell you how to make your book permanently free.

Missed me?

Seems it's been a while since my last post, but I have not abandoned my blog. Oh, no, not at all. I was just busy.

Wanna see what I've been doing recently?

Started with this:

Ended up with these:

Yep, that's from my garden. I think after this I can easily call myself a great apple picker :)

 

But this is not the only thing I've been up to. Most of the time I have been studying English: reading and writing. I've read so many books recently I've lost the count. I call it studying: I'm not just reading (I can't remember the last time I was reading just for pleasure), I read and highlight and write down new words and interesting phrases into my notepads. By the time I finish Witch Hollow's last book I will receive a Bachelor's degree in English. Don't believe me? Look at what I've been exploring:

 Elements of Style and Chicago Manual of Style.

What great books! ELOS might seem to be thin and an easy read, but no, it's not that easy. It's tough and worth every cent. If you don't have them yet, I advise you to pick them up as soon as possible.

Oh, look what else I've got!

Witch Hollow books in paperbacks. I'm very critical of what I've written and don't think very highly of my first attempts at writing in a foreign language, and still, I love my books. How can I not love them? They are my children, I have given birth and nurtured each of them. I will always love them even though I'm planning to write much better and create much more interesting stories.

Last night I had a dream about my characters. Mainly Cassandra and Dickens. When I realized that the story is coming to an end, and that I will never write about them again, I felt a bit hollow. Alas, all the stories have to end. But this was a great experience. As someone who writes in a foreign language, I have become more confident. I write longer without stopping over every word and considering every phrase. If I have more time on my hands I might start another blog, where I'll be giving advice to new authors who, like me, have to learn to write in a second, or even a third language. I've read many books on writing, but they don't always apply to us. We are different, we have to work differently, our struggles are bigger and harder. But not impassable. While I don't think I've reached a level where I can teach others, I think I could give advice or two to those who are planning to write in English but think they won't make it.
Yes, it's hard, but is there anything easy in this world?

My New Muse

Do you know what authors need for writing? That's right, a pen and a sheet of paper. A laptop might be better for some. The rest of the needs are subjective: Gillian Flynn needs total silence, Chris Bohjalian needs cats, I've heard others need cookies and candies. Well, I need music. My books take place in Ireland, around the green meadows and restless rivers, among the castle ruins and beneath the Celtic magic. I need Celtic music.

I am sure the first artist that comes to mind is Enya. I still can't decide on her best song. I used to think it was "Carribean Blue," then I thought it was "Celtic Fiddle," then "May It Be."

Enya is the Goddess of Celtic music, but she's not my only muse.

Loreena Mckennitt is my greatest love when it comes to Celtic music. Her music is multi-layered, beautiful, inspiring. Also, she looks like a forest nymph, or rather, the Queen of the Forest Nymphs. 

 

There is one more beautiful artist I have to mention. She might not be as famous as Enya or Loreena, but she has an incredible voice and a song so beautiful that I have spent countless hours listening her sing. She is Miriam Stockley, and her "The Song of the Seahorse" is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard.

And just recently I have discovered my new muse--Cécile Corbel. What a sweet, beautiful voice she has! And she's not just a singer but also a harpist and composes the most touching, mellifluous music. She's absolutely what I needed for my new fantasy series and have been listening to her most of the last week.

Listen to her and tell me Cécile is not a medieval maiden singing in the king's hall to soothe his anger and pacify his wrath. That's the role I have given to her, well, to my character actually, who sings in her voice, at least in my imagination.

Is this the writers' anthem?

Just stumbled upon something very funny on YouTube. Weird Al Yankovic strikes again. I thought nothing, nothing could be better than the "Amish Paradise," but I was wrong. 

This could easily be the writers' official anthem. Or maybe this suits more to editors and proofreaders? I hung my head in shame when I recollected the typos in my first book. That's why now I have two editors and one proofreader. And oh, last night I was reading George R.R. Martin and found two typos in his traditionally published TSOIAF. I have even highlighted them 3:) And there were three typos in Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time." Still doesn't make me feel better about my own typos.

But wait, I got carried away a bit. Weird Al Yankovic - Word Crimes.

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes 

 

Very funny. And very true. The lyrics are great, as always.
For example:

Say you got a "It"
Followed by apostrophe, "s"
Now what does that mean?
You would not use this in this case
As a possessive
It's a contraction
What's a contraction?
Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words
By the emission of a sound or letter.

Enjoy the song and proofread your books. At least twice ;)