Thursday, April 12, 2018

Ready Player One. The Movie.

One word: BAD.
Two words: VERY BAD.
I didn’t want to write about this movie, because I was so angry, but I had reviewed the book (which I had liked more than I’d expected), so I’ll write a quick review about this terrible mediocrity and move on with my life.
This was unbelievably bad. What were everyone involved with this movie thinking about? What was the author thinking about? I was sitting in the movie theater, cringing and wondering if the script writer had even read the book, and it turns out the author himself was one of the writers. I guess he didn’t have much choice.
Everything was changed. The only thing left from the book was the title and how one of the minor characters died in the beginning. The rest wasn’t “Ready Player One”. It was “Spielberg Thinks He Needs to Change Everything.” I can’t remember another movie that would be so far from its source material. Surely I didn’t expect them to show 8 hours of Pac-Man, but come on, could the movie at least try to follow the book?
The humor was flat, the characters were even flatter. The story was a hot mess. Rebels? What the hell was that?
Parzival and Art3mis meeting in real life in the middle of the movie? The whole point was to meet in the very end.
All of the characters being from the same city, even though the whole wide world is engaged in OASIS? They were from all around the world in the book and that was believable.
Ogden Morrow being a hidden character in the OASIS who is live 24/7? Really? So the guy never slept, ate, and rested?
Art3mis sneaking into the bad guy’s office and no one spotting her? No security cameras?
The bad guy becoming Halliday’s intern? Why?
Art3mis being locked in a prison cell at IOI an getting free because the key (a lever) was hidden in that same prison cell? What kind of idiot puts the key inside the prison cell? No, but really?
Art3mis becomes an IOI slave, logs in from an IOI computer, but looks like her old avatar? HOW?!!! Then she takes off the helmet inside the OASIS, but stays in the game?
I could go on and on, but I’ve got better things to do, like working on my next book and hoping it won’t be as flawed in logic as this terrible, boring, cliche movie. They took a cool book and turned it into yet another Hollywood flick. A sour candy wrapped inside a glossy paper. Who needs all these special effects when the story sucks?

They raped the book the same way they raped "Wrinkle in Time." At least WIT flopped, and it may teach Hollywood suits a few lessons. But serioulsy, who in their right mind thought this looked good?


Can anyone even look at this pic with a straight face? I know I'm rolling on the floor :D :D :D
Looks like a school production with tin foil costumes and a bad dance choreography. Oh, well. Hollywood has lost its mind.

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